i was shocked to learn that tony had died. in the midst of being saddened, i was also honestly feeling guilty….selfish, i know. i was feeling guilty because i thought he was getting better and so i hadn’t sent him a note in several weeks. i hadn’t reached out enough and now i feel like a terrible friend. he had just gotten a new gig with cnn and so i thought he was doing better – and that i would seem him for lunch in new york sometime soon.
i spoke to him several weeks ago and he seemed to be doing well. i guess i didn’t push him for answers beyond the surface ones “i’m doing well,” he said. he immediately started asking me about my job search and asked if there was anything he could help with….i should have pushed harder and inquired more about him.
even in death, tony has taught me how to be a better person – i will push harder now. we should all push harder….everyone says surface answers….but we should push harder when we care.